I'm so insufferably whiny today—I have an essay due tomorrow at noon (just a five-page deal, nothing to lose much sleep over), but all I can think about is curling up in bed with a good book, all warm and toasty, while mentally whining, "I don't waaaaant to write my essay!"

Instead, I've just spent the day watching movies (today's spread: The Breakfast Club, Watchmen, and Stardust. I'm all over the place), reading fanfic, and eating peanut M&Ms. And, of course, running some half-assed searches for academic sources while going "bleeeuuurrgh".

(It's not easy being a super-lazy English major, you know. It takes both a tremendous amount of intellectual energy and mad wordplay skillz to successfully make the bullshit arguments required of us, and today, I have neither. It's like my brain heard that there's a break coming up and just said, "Fuck it, I'm making this a long weekend" and didn't bother to get up with the rest of me this morning, leaving me with barely enough literacy skills to formulate basic sentences.

Watch your step, brain—I am easily given to thoughts of vengeance, and there is a well-stocked liquor store a block from my apartment. Your move, bitch.)

---

Just realized that I never posted the answers to that movie meme way back when. Not that anyone particularly cares, but...

#3: "Goddamn, I love working on American soil. I haven't had this much fun since Woodward and Bernstein." = Watchmen

#4: "I think violating fire codes and endangering the lives of children would be unwise at this juncture in your career, sir." = The Breakfast Club

#12: "Oh, right. That makes perfect sense. Turn right to go left. Yes, thank you! Or should I say No, thank you, because in Opposite World, maybe that really means thank you!" = Cars

#14: "Tons of men in this establishment would love to be harassed by you!" = Le Placard, a.k.a. The Closet, a.k.a. The Single Funniest French Comedy Ever (so unfair, since a) it's a foreign film and I don't really know anyone who's seen it, and b) the quote's in translation.)

#18: "Gentlemen, thank you very much. I think I can guarantee you... that you'll both be in Southern Russia before the end of the month. Good day." = Schindler's List

#20: "I just can't bring myself to hate people. The worse they behave, the sorrier I feel for them." = Paradise Road (movie about European women in Japanese prison camps during WWII. Another one most people haven't seen. It's a little schmaltzy at times, but it's still a good watch.)

#23: "You said you wanted to be around when I made a mistake, well, this could be it, sweetheart." = The Empire Strikes Back (I'm sad no one got this.)

#24: "I'd wake up and there'd be nothing. I hardly said a word to my wife, until I said 'yes' to a divorce." = Apocalypse Now

#25: "Soldiers! Don't give yourselves to brutes, men who despise you, enslave you; who regiment your lives, tell you what to do, what to think and what to feel! Who drill you, diet you, treat you like cattle, use you as cannon fodder. Don't give yourselves to these unnatural men - machine men with machine minds and machine hearts! You are not machines, you are not cattle—you are men!" = The Great Dictator (I love this speech so much that I linked to it for Sharing is Caring! - Day 5.)

I am super-grumpy today and I can't even discuss why, largely because said grumpiness is likely the result of my acting like a petulant toddler. I think I'll sublimate my annoyances through cleaning my apartment, because God, does it need it.

But first... pressing questions!


From the lovely freya_sacksen:

1. What would your last dinner be? - My Italian grandmother's homemade raviolis and meatballs, because a) cheese ravioli is my personal ambrosia, and b) if left to her own devices, she would undoubtedly feed me enough food to cause a fatal stomach rupture.

2. Your life is an audio drama! Woohoo! Who would your narrator be and why? - Tony Jay. I am willing to painstakingly cobble together old audio clips into something resembling a cohesive narrative to make this possible.

3. You're given the choice to spend a month in the canon of your choice. Which one do you choose and why? - Ooh, this is a tough one. Hmm... It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia, especially if I could bring friends with me to hang out in South Philly at Paddy's Pub. I'd be able to augment my normal, dull Philly existence with The Gang's amusing antics.

4. What do you wish really existed but doesn't? Fairies, dragons, griffins, sphinxes? - Fairies would be kind of cool, especially if they got into the traditional Seelie/Unseelie details and courts and all that and I'm showing my geeky stripes liek whoa so I'm going to stop now.

5. You're given unlimited tools, workers and the world's best architects. What do you make? - A fully-functional and failproof teleportation pad. Also, the Resurrection Technology to make #2 substantially more feasible.


"Now to play along just type GUREITO in the comment box and I will ask YOU 5 questions."


(Fair warning: they *will* be very strange.)

Week before Thanksgiving = academic suicide run for college students.

Sharing is Caring!
For one week, recommend/share:

Day one: a song
Day two: a picture
Day three: a book/ebook/fanfic
Day four: a site
Day five: a youtube clip
Day six : a quote
Day seven : whatever tickles your fancy


I'll share the reason that Day 7 is two days late: my highbrow academic project for Communications, which centers around old-timey LOLcats.

I am a very strange student.

(Late. But as I haven't gone to bed and the sun hasn't come up, Jersey rules = it's still technically Sunday.)

Sharing is Caring!
For one week, recommend/share:

Day one: a song
Day two: a picture
Day three: a book/ebook/fanfic
Day four: a site
Day five: a youtube clip
Day six : a quote
Day seven : whatever tickles your fancy


An excerpt from what I consider to be one of the single best pages in existence: "Yes, You Are"

feminism n (1895) 1 : the theory of the political, economic, and social equality of the sexes 2 : organized activity on behalf of women's rights and interests — feminist n or adj — feministic adj


Above, the dictionary definition of feminism — the entire dictionary definition of feminism. It is quite straightforward and concise. If you believe in, support, look fondly on, hope for, and/or work towards equality of the sexes, you are a feminist.

Yes, you are.

The definition of feminism does not ask for two forms of photo ID. It does not care what you look like. It does not care what color skin you have, or whether that skin is clear, or how much you weigh, or what you do with your hair. You can bite your nails, or you can get them done once a week. You can spend two hours on your makeup, or five minutes, or the time it takes to find a Chapstick without any lint sticking to it. You can rock a cord mini, or khakis, or a sari, and you can layer all three. The definition of feminism does not include a mandatory leg-hair check; wax on, wax off, whatever you want. If you believe in, support, look fondly on, hope for, and/or work towards equality of the sexes, you are a feminist.

Yes, you are.

The definition of feminism does not mention a membership fee or a graduated tax or "…unless you got your phone turned off by mistake." Rockefellers, the homeless, bad credit, no credit, no problem. If you believe in, support, look fondly on, hope for, and/or work towards equality of the sexes, you are a feminist.

Yes, you are.

Do yourself a favor and read the essay in its entirety (it's short but incredibly powerful). Memorize it. Share it. Give quizzes.

I love Saturday—it's the only day where I get to laze around and not do a single worthwhile thing.

As such, we interrupt today's Sims 3 marathon to bring you the following:


Sharing is Caring!
For one week, recommend/share:

Day one: a song
Day two: a picture
Day three: a book/ebook/fanfic
Day four: a site
Day five: a youtube clip
Day six : a quote
Day seven : whatever tickles your fancy


I'll give you two: one funny, one moving.


First: the funny.



George Carlin's famous abortion argument. We just finished our lengthy abortion debate in my philosophy class, and I was amazed at how much I kept mentally getting called back to this. Not only is Carlin brilliant, but he manages to make excellent points while being funny as hell. I love stand-up, and there are countless comedians on my iPod who are amazing, but no one will ever quite live up to Carlin's genius.


Second: the moving.



The climactic end speech from Charlie Chaplin's 1940 tour-de-force, The Great Dictator. If you haven't seen the film, don't worry—most people haven't. But if you get the chance, you really should. Written and filmed when the US was still officially neutral towards Germany, it's basically a WWII-era send-up of Nazism and Nazi policy, in which an aggressive and infantile dictator ends up trading places with a humble Jewish barber who bears a striking resemblance to him (the latter is the one who gives the above speech). And if that sounds like the most offensive and horrible concept for a movie you can think of... watch the clip. I've seen it more times than I can count, and it still gives me goosebumps. It's an emotional powerhouse, one that's still incredibly relevant nearly sixty years later.

Had a good day today. I think I really, really needed that bitchslap yesterday; it was kind of my callback to reality.

I'm ridiculously tired, though, so straight onto the meme!


Sharing is Caring!
For one week, recommend/share:

Day one: a song
Day two: a picture
Day three: a book/ebook/fanfic
Day four: a site
Day five: a youtube clip
Day six : a quote
Day seven : whatever tickles your fancy





I love showing this to site to 'Net-un-savvy friends and associates as a way to kind of welcome them to the strange and wonderful world that is the Internet. Basically, it's a list of all the most popular memes, viral videos, and Internet phenomena that everybody and their mother has probably seen by now, including Charlie the Unicorn (#6), Yatta! (#12), and The Evolution of Dance (#87). Now, as 'Net-savvy folk, you guys have probably seen and re-seen most of these, to the point that they're not remotely cutting-edge or funny anymore (however, I firmly believe that The Sneezing Panda [#76] will never get old). But if, like me, you're a lone Internet vet amongst a sea of newbies, this is a great reference guide to show said n00bs if they ever come to you and ask about this "Chocolate Rain" (#3) thing they've been hearing so much about.


**I move away from this post to breathe in

We're just going to disregard my last entry for now, because explaining just why the events described therein made me so angry would require me going into a lengthy discussion about what I used to be like a few years ago (a few of you know this already, and I really, really hope I've made some amount of progress in your eyes), and I'm just not going to do that.

Also: no more Ben stuff. I promise. Consider the case officially closed.

---

Sharing is Caring!
For one week, recommend/share:

Day one: a song
Day two: a picture
Day three: a book/ebook/fanfic
Day four: a site
Day five: a youtube clip
Day six : a quote
Day seven : whatever tickles your fancy


Book: Anything and everything by Juliet Marillier, one of the single best fantasy authors out there. Marillier is an expert storyteller, and every one of her novels delivers an exquisite tale in the tradition of centuries-old stories of quests and magic, love and loss, all wrapped up in beautifully-written language and painstakingly accurate attention to historical detail. If you don't mind getting pulled into a series, do yourself a favor and pick up Daughter of the Forest, the first installment in her acclaimed 'Sevenwaters' series, and enjoy (my favorites in the series are actually the last two, Child of the Prophecy and Heir to Sevenwaters, but if you're anything like me, you'll tear through the first two so quickly that you'll arrive at them soon enough).

Fanfic: "The End of Days" by dansemacabre (Labyrinth, M, Romance/Adventure). This one gets a nod because a) I'm re-reading it right now, and b) it's one of the single best fics I've ever read in any fandom. It's that good. "End of Days" takes the standard 'Labyrinth' fanfic trope (i.e. "Sarah goes back to the Labyrinth") and gives it a darkly original spin. There's magic and death and danger around every corner, and the author is amazingly deft at weaving elements of mythology and subtle symbolism into the story of a perilous journey and a fight to save the Goblin Kingdom as it stands at Armageddon. I don't know if anyone on my FL reads for "Labyrinth," but if you do, this one should definitely be on your reading list.

I really, really love my Mom. She came up to visit after calling and finding that I was having such a hard time, and we spent an hour riding around the city and talking (well, she did most of the talking, in her attempts to cheer me up and make me realize that I can't possibly blame myself for all of this). Afterwards, she went back out to pick up some take-out for us to eat.

About an hour later, there was a quiet knock on the door.

When I opened it, my mother was almost entirely hidden behind two dozen roses.

"Just to remind you that you're special and I love you," she said.

If I weren't such a hardass, I think I would've started crying right there.

As it was, I took them from her and thanked her, trying and failing to suppress a smile.

There's currently a dozen fire-and-ice roses next to my TV and a dozen pale-pink roses—my absolute favorite flower—right here next to my computer monitor. I don't care that it might be considered sad that the only flowers I get are from my mother. They're still adding a hint of much-needed brightness to my life at present.

I also keep re-reading the comments all of you have left...not just in the past twenty-four hours, but since my world tore apart at the seams on August 7th. Again, hardass, so I'm limited to my expression, but still...

Thank you. All of you.

---

Sharing is Caring!
For one week, recommend/share:

Day one: a song
Day two: a picture
Day three: a book/ebook/fanfic
Day four: a site
Day five: a youtube clip
Day six : a quote
Day seven : whatever tickles your fancy





Philadelphia's Fairmount Park system is home to Belmont Plateau, which boasts arguably the single greatest spot from which to view the Philadelphia skyline. Mom and I chilled out up there for awhile tonight and watched the ubiquitous deer wander about. I love that contrast—look up, city skyline and sprawling urban landscape. Look down...deer in a field. If there is a single more fitting metaphor for the Delaware Valley, I'm hard-pressed to come up with it.

(Photo—of course—courtesy of my sister Carly. [source])

Just did the math: of the past 48 hours, I was asleep for 26 of them.

Depression? Seriously. Go to hell.

---

And now, as a complete distraction, a meme that I've been meaning to steal from m_aenea for-freakin'-ever:

Sharing is Caring!
For one week, recommend/share:

Day one: a song
Day two: a picture
Day three: a book/ebook/fanfic
Day four: a site
Day five: a youtube clip
Day six : a quote
Day seven : whatever tickles your fancy


Day One: Song!

I nominate what is undoubtedly one of the single most epic songs in existence: Nightwish, "Ghost Love Score". Full stop.




And now that you've all been suitably epic-ified, I'm off to attempt some Latin homework and remind myself why I am never taking a foreign languge other than French ever again.

Title: "Ave Servator"
Category: Soul Calibur
Rating: PG-13
Genre: Horror/Romance
Words: 403
Pairing(s): Raphael/Cassandra
Summary: She naively seeks to bring about his salvation, ever unaware as he begins to orchestrate her fall.

A/N: I wrote something. You guys, I WROTE something. This is monumental for me: I haven't written more than two words of creative prose since my life fell apart back in August. Is it terrible? Most likely. Am I still happy to have written it? You have no idea.

*ahem* As for the more stylistic notes, this is only the second time I've ever written in the second person. Ever. And it's from Raph's POV. You'd think I'd try to make my transition back into writing a little bit easier than writing a super-difficult POV with a super-difficult character (goddamn you, Raph), but hey. Apparently Total!Bastard Raph is too much fun to write.

Also, since this one is essentially a little slice o' blasphemy, there are elements of Dante, Milton, and, of course, a ton of Biblical allusions, because I'm an English major trapped at a Catholic university and this is what I do.

C&C eternally welcome and gratefully accepted—I'm so rusty and damn-near terrified about how badly my skills may have atrophied (assuming they were there in the first place, of course).


( Ave Servator )

Ladies and gentlemen...

Phuck New York.

That is all.


And now a meme from the lovely freya_sacksen to help combat the rage.


RULES-
1. Pick 25 of your favorite movies.
2. Go to IMDB, find a quote from each movie.
3. Post them in a note for everyone to guess.
4. Strike it out when someone guesses correctly, and put who guessed it and the movie.
5. NO GOOGLING/using IMDB search functions or checking my favorite movies on my Facebook!! That's cheating and it ruins the fun.

( Yay memes. )

Midterm grades are in!


Shakespeare: B- (because of the aforementioned essay I really, really should have failed)
Latin I: A-
Philosophy: A
Visual Rhetorics: A-
Communications: A-


Not too shabby given that my world came crashing down around me three weeks before the semester started and I still decided to hang onto all five courses.



In other news, getting my hair done today. I haven't decided if I want to do something really drastic—isn't that one of those post-breakup clichés?—but I definitely need to get it done, if for nothing else than to quell the rebellion of split-ends that have slowly taken over my head.

Maybe I'll go red instead of blond. Hm.

(Ah, how I love weekends, the only time when something like this is my biggest decision.)

This time, it's in response to "Embrace the pale: tanning booths are dangerous, unhealthy," an article that makes the (apparently) controversial statement that constant UV exposure in tanning beds may, you know, cause skin cancer.

This being The Hawk, let's bring on the parade of stupid!

"Pros outweighing the cons--- try researching Vitmain D deficiency and then let's talk about pros and cons."

"vitamin d deficiency is killing waaay more people then skin cancer. Do your research before posting an unfounded statement."

"More of the same generic drivel perpetuated by the Sunscare Coalition to keep you buying sunscreen products, an industry that far outweighs the tanning industry. Do some proper research on the topic, sites such as www.uvtalk.com/forum is a great place to find articles and research not tainted by the sunscreen pushers."

"[G]et your facts straight. Melanoma skin cancer diagnosis has been on the rise since sunscreens came into vogue. Did you know that sunscreens block the production of Vitamin D, which has shown to reduce the risk of all types of disease? Did you know that in the north we are ALL deficient in this vitamin in the winter months? The only natural source of Vitamin D is UV light. IN the north in the winter, we can use tanning beds or take supplements. Our only two options. Go ahead and tell people to be pale, and kill 338,000 people a year because they are deficient in the Sunshine vitamin."

...I think my brain is leaking out of my ears. Holy FUCK, where do they get these people?


Once again, I'll let my response speak for itself:

The Hawk Online clearly needs to institute some kind of IQ screening process for comments; this is really getting out of hand.

First of all, uvtalk.com is, according to the American Tanning Institute, "a professional tanning industry board designed to promote education about moderate, responsible tanning, UV exposure and vitamin D production". Real unbiased source there—I know I'm willing to take their word over, say...

The CDC... ("About 65%–90% of melanomas are caused by exposure to ultraviolet (UV) light." - http://www.cdc.gov/cancer/skin/basic_info/index.htm)

...The National Cancer Institute... ("UV radiation comes from the sun, sunlamps, tanning beds, or tanning booths. A person's risk of skin cancer is related to lifetime exposure to UV radiation. [...] People who live in areas that get high levels of UV radiation have a higher risk of skin cancer." - http://www.cancer.gov/cancertopics/wyntk/skin/page4)

...and the Mayo Clinic ("The exact cause of all melanomas isn't clear, but exposure to ultraviolet (UV) radiation from sunlight or tanning lamps and beds greatly increases your risk of developing melanoma." - http://www.mayoclinic.com/health/melanoma/DS00439)

Seriously, people—you're accusing the "sunscreen industry" of scare tactics and false statements? Pot, meet kettle; I'm sure you'll get along swimmingly.

These people are honestly embarrassing themselves. But then, as someone who doesn't leave the house without a protective layer of SPF 15, the sunscreen industry's brainwashing microbes have probably already been absorbed into my skin and begun their hostile takeover.

LADIES AND GENTLEMEN... WEAR SUNSCREEN.

Two things:

1) Performing Act 5 of Twelfth Night tomorrow morning as a group project. I'm playing Antonio and the priest. Gay pirate captain-->man of the cloth. At a Catholic university. I almost hope one of the campus priests happens to wander in during the performance, if only to see my costuming choice (my priest is a Franciscan—and by that I mean he's wrapped in a black bedsheet with a black pillowcase on his head). At least Antonio gets a kick-ass feathered pirate hat and a wicked sword (a real one, no less—my sister's boyfriend, a total D&D dork, was a godsend on that one. And as far as anyone knows, I've kept it safely sheathed the whole time and certainly didn't swing it around my apartment earlier tonight while practicing my lines).

2) Currently working on a project for Visual Rhetorics. Objective: provide a visual representation of at least eight things you do on a daily basis.

I interpreted this quite liberally and worked up what I've termed "Majoring in Liberal Arts: A Visual Guide." It's a tongue-in-cheek look at "my" habits here at SJU...

...done in the Sims 2.

It is awesome. If I do not get an A on this project, I hereby consign myself to mediocrity for the rest of the semester.





(For the curious, yes, that is a very, very rough approximation of myself and my apartment, although I do not, in fact, have a hookah/bubble-blower that seats four. Also, my bathroom is considerably cleaner and my kitchen considerably less.)

Comments/criticism much appreciated. We have peer review in class tomorrow, so hopefully my group members won't just flat-out tell me I suck and send me off to completely re-work the whole damn project over the weekend.


Off to continue studying my Antonio. I'd say I'm scared out of my wits that I'm going to fuck up the entire performance, but I'd be understating by a fair amount.

Everyone knows that October is Breast Cancer Awareness Month. As with every year, the color pink will no doubt be ubiquitous from now until Halloween. And I'm not arguing that it isn't a worthy cause.

However... October is also Domestic Violence Awareness Month, and perhaps no issue in existence is more precious to me than this one.








Please take a minute to sign this pledge from Women Against Abuse, the Philadelphia area's largest comprehensive domestic violence support program. It only takes a few seconds to state your commitment to stop domestic violence by refusing to be silent.

I speak out every day. For myself. For my mother. For the memories of all the women who survived, who fought and struggled until they finally escaped. For the ones who couldn't.

It's our responsibility to speak for those who have had their voices stolen.

Thank you.

Just in from the 8 p.m. performance of the cast of It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia performing "The Nightman Cometh".

And, as I sit here with my T-shirt and autographed copy of Season 4 on DVD, I hereby declare this night one of the best and most entertaining of my life.

Three thousand fans laughing, cheering, singing. People in Paddy's Pub T-shirts, Dayman costumes, Greenman costumes. Three thousand people singing "Dayman" at the top of their lungs, on their feet. Three thousand fans cheering over the opening credits as we watched an upcoming episode of Season Five. Three thousand fans united in a singular love of our city and our hometown show.

We are "It's Always Sunny". We are Philadelphia. We are fucking awesome.

And so was the show. It was everything I hoped for and more. It was worth every penny, and it was worth the fact that I'm sitting here with a major project completely unstarted at 11 p.m.

I'm due for a peer review tomorrow afternoon. I'm expecting solid negatives, but you know what? I was at the "It's Always Sunny" show, bitches. I am untouchable.

Aaaand after that exceedingly depressing entry, let's have a meme!

(Stolen from m_aenea, who has the best fannish memes.)

-Leave a comment with a character or pairing, and five words/short prompts
-i will write a sentence/short paragraph for each character/prompt.

I'm terrible at keeping things brief, so I'll probably err on the side of "paragraph," but either way, I need more practice writing shortfic. And, you know, distractions from life.

(If anyone's stuck on prompts, here are a few to give you some ideas.)

Carly, James, and I are going to see the cast of "It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia" on tour performing "The Nightman Cometh" live at the Tower Theater on Sept. 17th.

...

...

YES.

I am resisting the urge to run around the house screaming in fangirlish joy. I mean, this is going to be insane—Philly fans are crazy-enthusiastic about damn near everything, and this is basically our hometown show. I'm just picturing a few thousand people drinking and screaming and singing "Dayman" in unison ("Dayman (ah-ah-ahhhh)/Fighter of the nightman (ah-ah-ahhhh)/Champion of the sun (ah-ah-ahhhh)/You're a master of karate and friendship for everyone!").

It will be glorious. Goddamn, I will likely be completely hungover in class on Friday morning and I don't even care. And if anyone gives me shit, I can just go, "Dude, I was at the 'It's Always Sunny' show last night," and any argument will immediately end there.

Awesome.


(For those of you unfamiliar with the show... for shame. Here, start streaming. You will not regret it. )

I got a ton of compliments on my appearance today.

People said I was striking, vibrant, somehow strong and fierce-looking.

The kicker?

I was wearing bright-red lipstick.

Eat it, Ben.


ETA: ...I love Freya to pieces. Truly. And after reading this poem, you all should understand just why that is the case.

Title: "Circle"
Category: Valkyria Chronicles [gasp!]
Rating: PG
Genre: Angst/Romance
Words: 1,514
Pairing(s): Welkin/Alicia
Summary: General Gunther failed to protect his wife. Years later, Welkin reflects upon his father's plight and its relevance to his own. Post Chapter 13.

A/N: Well, I finally caved. This idea has been eating away at me for a good two months, and I have finally kicked it out of my brainspace. Of course, now I have another idea that I can't figure out how to write. The creativity gods are not kind to me.

Anyway, new fandom, still getting used to the characters, hopefully doesn't completely suck. I'm really looking forward to the concrit over at FFN on this one, if a mite terrified.

( Circle )